Communication skills
The most important skill for build good relationships is communication. When someone know that lack of communication is the most common causes of relational breakdown . This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.
The word can't hurt oneself,but often hurts other people.
Do you vertify any of the next statements?
"He never hear me when I say!"
"It's like talking to wall"
"I can't get through to you"
"We can't talk about anything without fighting"
"She's either crying or shouting or complaining.
It is a complex course for communication; 80-90% of communication is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc. For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.
Interpersonal Communication
1. Thoughts: Every person know a trueth differently because their belief system, experience.
2. Behavior: choice of words+ tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.
3. Needs: we looking for comfortable, information? We consider ourselves on our aims.
4. Feelings: how our current mood and mind affect decisions and thoughts.
5. Facts: Try to separate the facts from feelings.
Listening && Response
Listening is an not a complex process. When two people debate, they only hear what they feel like hear, not what's actually said.Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing. This equates to the accusation of "not listening".
Don't debate when you're pissed off because you will not be able to listen objectively. You should give yourself time to calm down .It's vital to give feedbackming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.
If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.
Destructive:
- win or lose, blaming
- focus on weak points, shaming
- blackmail, withdrawal
- passive, submissive
- denial, withdrawal
Constructive:
- meet halfway, understanding
- open discussion, communication without confrontation
- solutions, forgiveness, honesty
When you try to resolve conflicts, as you will share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.
When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along.Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts You may find the following useful method:
1. Make sure buddy agree to resolving the issue.
2. Ask other people to say the problem. The way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it when you stick to solving one problem at a time.
3. Consider problem when you see it.When your feelings is coming out,you will know the solution. you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.
4. Create two solutions. In order to find creative solutions that you should reduce tension.
5. Say your feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, “I feel…” rather than “I think you…”
6. Combine acceptable solution.
19 Steps to Effective Communication
2. Please remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication is often more powerful multi-language exchange. The avoidance of double message oral and non-verbal message some contradictions. (Credibility gap)
3. To define what is important, and stressed it; to define what is unimportant and de-emphasize or ignore it. To avoid failure to investigate.
4. Way of communicating, respect each other's value as a human being. "Avoid statements began to read," You will never ... "or" I think you .... "
5. Must be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid any ambiguity.
6. Is realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggerated and the beginning of the sentence "You always ..."
7. Test all the assumptions verbally asked if they are accurate. Refrain from taking action until the completion of this work.
8. To recognize that every event we can see that different points of view. Avoid other people to see things like you to do so. (Perception)
9. Recognizing that your family members and close friends is an expert on you and your behavior. To avoid the trend, you deny their views - especially if you are not sure.
10. Recognizing that differences could be a meaningful means of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.
11. Honest and open about your feelings and perspectives. The realization of all the major issues, even if you are worried about doing so would interfere with others. Tell the truth of love. Silent to avoid depression.
12. Do not put down and / or manipulation of other people's tactics, such as ridicule, interruption, curse, change the subject, accused of wiretapping, irony, criticism, identity, guilt-induced, such as to avoid one-upmanship game.
13. More concerned about how it affects the exchange of others than what you intend. If you are a pain to avoid misunderstanding.
14. Accept all the feelings and try to understand why other people think, and as they are. To avoid the trend said, "You should not think this is a point."
15. Was experienced and thoughtful, and courteous. Refrain from using other people's feelings.
16. Ask questions and listen carefully. To avoid preaching or indoctrination.
17. Do not use an excuse. To avoid falling into the hands of others an excuse.
18. Polite and gentle and kind words. Avoid nagging shout or complain.
19. Recognition of the value of humor and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing
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